Friday, January 28, 2011
"Maybe I will never sleep past 7:00 in the morning and maybe I will never have time to brush my hair and maybe I will never be able to eat a full meal without getting up anddown a million times. It’s worth it. Maybe it will always take me twice as long to do everything and maybe I will never have a really clean house and maybe my days of staying out late with friends are over. It’s worth it. Anything I have togive up is worth just that one minute when they look at me and call me, “Mom,” when those little hands grab mine and those big eyes look at me as if I hold the keys to the world. It’s worth it."
Read the rest here.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
But I saw with my first child, my one, only child was enough to fulfill. Then two....even more wonderful. And now three? These three? It is perfect. It has always been perfect. His will for us. I'm so grateful He didn't let me plan this life...this sublime, even on hard days, life.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I know just how she feels.
Isn't this the way it settles in our hearts....that old, rotten, all-too familiar sense of discouragement. Someone else does it better than we do and so our efforts seem futile. Then our sunken, disheartened soul wonders why we should bother at all. So we give up.
Her upside-down mouth and that crumply bed were in the back of my mind all afternoon. Did she think someone would love her less on account of a few wrinkles? Me?....Her father?....Her friends?
To be loved. Surely it is what we strive most for in life. When I was a teenager, for years I used to read one small part of my then-favorite spiritual book over and over again. The section I would read and re-read, on Defects of Nature, encourages one not to feel grieved at one's natural inferiorities. To be content with the gifts we're given because they are the only gifts we need. God gives us those qualities which are in accordance with the designs He has for us. Nothing more, nothing less. The chapter further suggests that we should consider ourselves fortunate to be lesser than others, blessed to have mediocre talents, because superiority often engenders pride and vanity, and more is expected of those who have more.
That book saved me when I was younger. To realize that I had everything I needed to become perfect one day...in Him...for Him. Not perfect for friends or brothers or even my mother and father. As much as these people love me they'll never Love like Him. Perfectly.
One day in the not so distant future I know I'll find myself explaining all this to my little girl and her siblings: Seek Love only where it truly can be found....in Him; and strive to be perfect only for God, because friends and family will fail you. And that's okay. They're human. They're fallen. In those people you will never find complete rest, unbounded joy, or whole love, my dear. But you will find everything you desire, and much, much more in Him.
The promptings are beginning already.
Lord, help me to teach You....and only You. All I want for them is You, because You are all any of us really wants.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
The quiet one.
I spent less than three minutes on the entirety of Christmas shopping for the children this year. It's no secret we we don't buy lots of things for our children at Christmas time, but this year we did less than ever before. And they were just as happy as ever before. Maybe happier.
Having been deprived of good food for four weeks, the Christmas meal tasted better than it ever has before. It was so, so delicious. We found ourselves extraordinarily grateful. After the meal we discussed how blessed we are to have such rich food, and watched a montage we've seen over and over this Advent, right there at the dinner table, shedding tears of gratitude and joy and sorrow all at once.
So grateful, so hungry for His Coming I wept in joy right there in front of everyone. And I didn't even care.
Foregoing usual holiday outings...the Christmas tree lighting ceremonies, the performances, the parades...for quieter time at home, pouring over good pages, handcrafting Jesse tree ornaments, pressing cookies depicting angels and nativity scenes....brought meaningful discussions about all these things and more.
We still enjoyed many usual traditions...
and I don't have to tell you that new babies make the best Christmas presents ever...
as does a beautiful bouquet from the man you love...
Today we are all terribly sick and as I was getting up this morning I wondered aloud how I would get through this day....so many things to do....grocery shopping, that trip to the post office....and then I remembered these past few weeks and just smiled. Of course...we'll hold each other close, stay in our pajamas all day, pour over good pages, awe at that Baby still in our manger, and be quiet to the world. It is still Christmas and we can still be quiet.
It really was the most wonderful Advent and Christmas ever. My word for 2011....