Sunday, December 17, 2006

Pink Sunday Reflection

I love rejoicing, I love Gaudete Sunday, and I love pink (having girls, one cannot help but enjoy that color)! Today we attended a beautiful, joyful mass, and then had lunch afterwards with a devout Norbertine priest from St. Michael's Abbey, who is also an old friend of ours. Madeleine fell asleep in the car during our drive from the abbey to our lunch spot, so I offered to stay behind and let her finish her nap while the others began lunch. I figured if she woke up I would join them sometime in the middle of the meal. What a blessing this was.

As I sat gazing at my sleeping baby, I soaked in the great joy of mothering her and her older sister. I remembered the first day I became a mother, to Gianna in 2003, and the day I became Madeleine's mother in 2005. For the six years of marriage previous to Gianna's birth, not having been able to conceive was probably the greatest suffering I have endured in my life. And I still have not been able to conceive. But today I rejoice for that very thing which was once a great hardship, yet has become the cause of my greatest joys, my daughters. (Notice, that a "greatest suffering" becomes the cause of a "greatest joy". Sound familiar?) Had I been as fertile as I once desired, had I given birth to as many children as all my dear Catholic friends who had three and four children by the time I had one, I would never have met my own two girls. The mere thought of it brings on the tears. My daughters were both infants when we adopted them. We have known and loved them their whole lives. To think it is possible that we could have bore children "naturally" and not known these two miracles makes me shudder. And it reminds me that God always has a better plan for us than what we think we may desire for ourselves.

Awakening from her sweet slumber, Madeleine opened her eyes, and having found her mama staring at her in awe, smiled with that boundless love and admiration only a baby can give. I quickly removed her from her carseat and held her tight, kissed her sweet baby head, and looked to heaven with joy and gladness!

9 comments:

Margaret in Minnesota said...

Dear Kristen, do you need me to tell you what a beautiful post this is? I will look at my children (sons and daughters alike) with new appreciation today.

You are blessed in your perspective and in those lovely girls. Have a beautiful 3rd (and final) week of Advent, friend.

Cheryl said...

Beautiful indeed, Kristen!

Melissa said...

This was such a beautiful post. May we all be as mindful of what treasures we have in each of our precious children! God bless you!

JennGM said...

What a lovely reflection! Your girls are a blessing to you, but you are to them, too!

Anonymous said...

Kristen,

What a touching post! It is so, so true, isn't it, what St. Augustine says...God brings a greater good out of evil than if there had been to evil to begin with. I would love to hear your adoption story, if you are ever inclined to share it on your blog. We've struggled with fertility issues, too, though nothing like what you and your husband have endured. God bless you both for your generosity.

Michelle H.

Kristen Laurence said...

You ladies make me so happy to be blogging! I learn so much from all of you, and cherish the ability to care for people I've never met.

Michelle, I would be happy to tell our adoption stories. True miracles they were. Perhaps after the holidays. Today I was so busy wrapping, packaging, mailing and runnning errands that I didn't have any energy left to post anything! So until tomorrow....

Ladybug Mommy Maria said...

Kristen,

This is truly, truly beautiful!

causa nostra laetitiae said...

I've never heard such a beautiful reflection on suffering turned to joy! Your suffering has surely purified your heart in fire, and produced pure gold!
I still struggle with my reduced fertility, only having three when almost all my friends have six or more, and am still far away from the serenity you have. God bless you, Kristen.

Jeanne said...

Yes! We feel so blessed that we were unable to conceive! If we had, we would not have our two girls. We also adopted in 2003 and 2005; we are now starting the paperwork for a third. I have recently discovered the Real Learning site and several wonderful Catholic mother's blogs. I just found yours today and have been touched by your thoughts on adoption. Would you please share with me how you talk to your girls about adoption? I am looking for a beautiful, Catholic way of talking to them. Any suggestions would be appreciated!